There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
PS: I just woke up from my shower
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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