i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
