Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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