Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
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I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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