Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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