Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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