You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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