i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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