i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
