Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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