How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
