so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
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I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
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With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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