Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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