Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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