i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize