How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
