I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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