just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I don't think brook has ever known best
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
