It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
