ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
