Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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