I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
