like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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