Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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