Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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