i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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