Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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