Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
