Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
