Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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