I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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