ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
