I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
