so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
