you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Someone signed my nipple.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
