yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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