It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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