I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
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