I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
