dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize