problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
