if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
