Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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