I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
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So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
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oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU