you told grandpa to call you daddy
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
