things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON