youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.