More tranny stories later!
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before