I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Never let your siblings swipe right.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
