Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
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