I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
