Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
