i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
