I wish I only lived at night.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
