She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
