She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
