I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
