He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
