I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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