If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
