Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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