Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
