ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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