Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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