"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
