my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
