You're my little dorito
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
