I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
