Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
