sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
two words: eviction party
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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